What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops