When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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