What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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