I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops