Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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