Jesus Christ

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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42

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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