what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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josh roberts goes to church to take advantage of religiously confused young boys

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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