What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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