what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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I'm Polish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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