Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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