A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

Knock knock Come in

What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...