- Anti Joke

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

Hey its Nero7 (seriously I can go back to Nero now that all other six have been murdered) I can help myself from laughing, not because your "pimp daddy" is crying like a bitch here (I can punch his skull in with a certain arm again if you want), but because I think it was about time you told him how it is.... Okay, and because (sorry babe I dont mean you no harm) "pimp daddy" is so fitting that its funny, but hey, I fucked up by trying to get him to know you again, I might just redeem myself not by breaking no concrete with his skull, but rather by breaking his skull with concrete. Listen, you better stop using your real name (leave that to a crazy fuck like me, nobody believes its even on my birth certificate anyway (crazy ass parents these days huh?) It will all be okay, the other "Nero`s" went down the way they always wanted to, fighting for whats right, fighting for the good of their people... ...Still feel like shit, my head is not clear yet, but I have a backup plan for all my backup plans ;), I was hoping things could always be resolved peacefully, but you might have heard me talk or type about "my shadows" or "The shadows of Nero right?" Lets just say that I more than once met that fuck which walks around the hidden cameras once in a while, and that if he is the leader, he is indeed the leader of a group of spetznas that went rogue... ...Guess its time I told you, these "shadows" are a bunch of spies and assassins I trained after getting trained by a couple of our members that work for a certain... "Federal Bureau Illegal" You are right about me wanting to do the right thing, but if you had believed it was about talking about how to achieve peace and love all the time, I will have to disappoint you... As much as I once hoped that was possible today these guys are trained and proven spies and assassins, and I well, not anymore, too old, but this is worth a shot. A couple days, give or take, and ill be fine, Ill need you to decipher this message (yeah thats why it is unnecessary long sugar bear on for me) Tell my boys that "The Mr.Black needs his shadows" And give them the coordinates, and for fucks sake, do not tell them anything else, or else they will most likely come for their caller instead. If they have any questions they will call you back, its that simple... A lot of good came out of this you know, maybe this dream will soon become my vision for those that seek out the darkness again, because at this point, I bet that at least some people, will at least try respect The Last Nero again... (Let us never use that name again) Hey, ill make sure I have a backup after this backup, and I will "call you here" yeah those numbers after the phone number embedded in this message, is the day and time (AM) ill contact you again, and if things dont work out... Ill finally get to use my lighter, and lit this stick of cigar I have been keeping around for years, and have one last smoke in a boom of glory. Hey, speaking of bull, I lied to you back then, I am not 45 or whatever I said, I am 35, I just did not want you to think you where being raised by a kid back then, and in case you wonder why I never brought you back to your mom, its because I spoke with her and she was never really against the idea of your dad making a bit of coke money as long as he shared... Need to lie down for a bit, lost my contacts, so I am back to using these dorky glasses, when my Shadows call you back, please tell them to send Mr.Black some contact lenses, or a couple of field glasses, ill need them. Love ya girl, please call my wife and tell her that I love her, and that ill do my best to make it back... Sigh, for dinner or something... Just let her know again if you never hear from us again eh? Ps: If you want me to kill your father (he has lived a good life, and I made sure he lived one too good for an asshole) then send me the secret code "yes kill my "pimp" daddy. Please reply, and then its time you go to bed... Says the guy that just admitted he is four years older than you... Sorry for that...

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

David Cameron

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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