why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops