Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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