What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +12

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops