-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Communism hehe xd

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops