A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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jews

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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