Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

Faithful men.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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