Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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An anti-joke

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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