A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops