Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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