What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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95556

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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