How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

what's funny about war? nothing!

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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