How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Bitch

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops