What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

the economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops