Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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