What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

how do you call someone? use a phone

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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