How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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