How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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