Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

I like that, but why am I happy?

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...