Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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bangers and mash?

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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