A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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