How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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