Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops