How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

If you are reading this you are a nerd

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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