What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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How old are you? 7

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops