My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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