What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Guest what in the butt

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

A praying mantis is very graceful

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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