What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops