What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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