"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

What's red and can sing? Elmo

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Killing your friend as a joke.

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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