why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Knock Knock.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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