Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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