What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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