Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Carlton

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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no

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why....... Because.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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