"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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