Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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AROUND

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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