If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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I dislike old people.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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An antijoke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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