What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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I hate you.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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