Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...