Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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