Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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A women left the kitchen.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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