Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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