Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops