There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

pobody's nerfect

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Andoni was here

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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