A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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