Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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