If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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How you know when dislextic

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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