How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops