hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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bangers and mash?

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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