Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Pickle

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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bite me

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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